Friday, March 30, 2018
Sunday, March 4, 2018
Bobsled
i've said it before
and
i'll say it again
i think the coolest guy you can be in the winter olympics would be the third guy on a four man bobsled team
really
what do you have to do?
eat a lot
drink a lot
hold on tight
and
hope you don't barf your guts out?
i dunno about you
but
i pretty much do that every day...
and
i'll say it again
i think the coolest guy you can be in the winter olympics would be the third guy on a four man bobsled team
really
what do you have to do?
eat a lot
drink a lot
hold on tight
and
hope you don't barf your guts out?
i dunno about you
but
i pretty much do that every day...
Friday, March 2, 2018
The Monster
Darkness cracked by lightning
The kites are flying
The switches have been thrown
The monster awakes
“Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnggggggggghhhhhhhhh!”
He growls
And
Smiles a crooked smile
“Me have story to tell."
He looks into a mirror
To straighten his tie
The mirror shatters
Raining tiny pieces to the floor
“Huuummm...”
He thinks
“Gonna be one of those lives?
me need drink...”
He laughs
Slaps the doctor
His creator
On the back
(a little too hard}
The doctor stumbles forward
And
Falls from a window
To his death
The monster shrugs his shoulders
And
Sets off toward town.
A Pause That Refreshes
'doc! the wife's on my ass, i can't make the car payment, and i'm stressed like son of a bitch. what should i do?'
'hmmmmmm... take two of these and go to vegas.'
come Monday morning the dude shows up at work and says, 'i dunno about you clowns but my weekend was fucking amazing! is that the time? shit! i gotta pile of work i gotta get done! see you guys at lunch!'
they could call it fukitall
have the pills pink
shaped like little tits or something
ax for it by name!
Monday, 4:32 AM
nothing on but the refrigerator light
scanning the contents for a snack
or two
the cat meowed and i bent to scratch her head
back pain set in
yet again
that good old throb in the lower portion of my spine
hurts like a mo-fo, gang
i don't even like to talk about it very often
but
i was thinking about how it's worth it
how i was trading a cat-touch for a body ache
how most of us wouldn't bother
how afraid we are of pain
danger
taking a chance
going out on a limb
how childhood can really create some lame ass people
what a great world it could be if we could learn to...
and then i thought
WOW!
a cold hot dog dipped in leftover chili!
The First Animated Church (of everything) or F.A.C.(e.)
1)
It's my opinion that every holy book or idea can be summed up in two simple words: "Be Cool" (think about it). As this is the case I don't really feel that anyone needs to know anything else. All one has to do is remember to "Be Cool". This is the be all and end all of "The Church".
2)
There are no dues to pay, no humans that you have to persecute, and I am not a boss or leader. I'm just the asshole who thought of this one night while rather stoned. There is also nothing else that you have to read or study, what is in your eyes right now is all you need. You also only have to be as cool as you are capable of. Just do what you can. That is all anyone CAN do, right?
3)
The abbreviation of the church's title is pronounced "fay-saw", extremely bad French for the word "face".
4)
Seeing as to how every church should have a logo here's the one I came up with: the two words "Be Cool". It should be on a T-shirt, printed upside down. So that, if you are in a tense or volatile situation and you find yourself confused, all you have to do is look down and read your shirt. To my mind the letters should be in a simple white font on a black shirt but you are free to use whatever style or colors you'd like.
5)
Making fun of somebody else's shirt is fucked up and, therefore "Not Cool" (maybe they don't have a lot of money). If someone copyrights this idea and sells shirts for profit they are fucked up and "Not Cool".
6)
If you'd rather you could wear a button that says "Be Cool" upside down and refer to that. Profits made on these would be pretty fucked up as well.
7)
Then again... you don't really have to do anything.
8)
Or give a flying fuck about what you have just read.
9)
Do whatever you think is cool. Just as long as it is really what is in your heart.
10)
That's all there is to it.
It's my opinion that every holy book or idea can be summed up in two simple words: "Be Cool" (think about it). As this is the case I don't really feel that anyone needs to know anything else. All one has to do is remember to "Be Cool". This is the be all and end all of "The Church".
2)
There are no dues to pay, no humans that you have to persecute, and I am not a boss or leader. I'm just the asshole who thought of this one night while rather stoned. There is also nothing else that you have to read or study, what is in your eyes right now is all you need. You also only have to be as cool as you are capable of. Just do what you can. That is all anyone CAN do, right?
3)
The abbreviation of the church's title is pronounced "fay-saw", extremely bad French for the word "face".
4)
Seeing as to how every church should have a logo here's the one I came up with: the two words "Be Cool". It should be on a T-shirt, printed upside down. So that, if you are in a tense or volatile situation and you find yourself confused, all you have to do is look down and read your shirt. To my mind the letters should be in a simple white font on a black shirt but you are free to use whatever style or colors you'd like.
5)
Making fun of somebody else's shirt is fucked up and, therefore "Not Cool" (maybe they don't have a lot of money). If someone copyrights this idea and sells shirts for profit they are fucked up and "Not Cool".
6)
If you'd rather you could wear a button that says "Be Cool" upside down and refer to that. Profits made on these would be pretty fucked up as well.
7)
Then again... you don't really have to do anything.
8)
Or give a flying fuck about what you have just read.
9)
Do whatever you think is cool. Just as long as it is really what is in your heart.
10)
That's all there is to it.
Room
I sit in this room
And I'm bored
And lonely
I feel unloved part of the time
Not always
But from time to time
It beats me down
And I drink so I don't think
It's kind of like lighting a match in the dark
But I go too far
From time to time
And the match burns my finger
And I curse the darkness
And I howl at the moon
It don't mean nothing
It's just the venting "wherewolf"
Raising his stupid head
The id punching the super ego
With a silver fist
I'm a genius
I'm an artiste
And I'm insane
I'm not violent
I mean no harm
I'm just a pain in the ass
I'm nothing to fear
But
From time to time
I am something to ignore
And I'm bored
And lonely
I feel unloved part of the time
Not always
But from time to time
It beats me down
And I drink so I don't think
It's kind of like lighting a match in the dark
But I go too far
From time to time
And the match burns my finger
And I curse the darkness
And I howl at the moon
It don't mean nothing
It's just the venting "wherewolf"
Raising his stupid head
The id punching the super ego
With a silver fist
I'm a genius
I'm an artiste
And I'm insane
I'm not violent
I mean no harm
I'm just a pain in the ass
I'm nothing to fear
But
From time to time
I am something to ignore
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